Global press, social-media, and tabloids have decided to create a 'Global Premier League Table', resembling international football/soccer league tables. To decide who is leading the table and could well become champions in 2024 in the global war/conflict games is measured by how many readers and viewers watch and read the daily dose of death, blood, bombings, fleeing refugees, and infra-structure destruction!
CNN, Sky, Aljazeera, X-rated Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, UK/US/European, Asian, Australian, tabloids, broadsheets, etc, have all been asked to send their reading/viewing stats in to Jaggedone and this brand-new Premier League table is now ready to go viral, here it is (major sponsors will be welcome to help finance the new Premier League, so, major weapon producing nations instead of pouring billions into warzones, please sponsor this fab Premier League of Global Warring Nations becaue without weaons there aint no wars!):
Numero 1: Isreali/ Palestinian Gaza war. (Replaced Ukraine War because people got sick of watching and reading about Ukrainian misery and Putin)
Numero 2: Putin's brutal, barbarian invasion of Ukraine. (After nearly 2 years of bashing the Ukraine, starving innocent Africans because hardly any wheat is leaving Ukraine, and the Daily Express's apolyptical prophesying of a WW3 Nuclear end to all living things, readers and viewers turned off totally bored to tears and decided to watch Netflix and reading the Daily Star instead! Lovely images of near-naked footy wags and tatooed footy players!)
Numero 3: Conflict in Yemen (this could never make number 1 because the Saudis keep it a secret and bakshee Aljazeera to keep their reporters out of the place)
Numero 4: Somalian civil war (an on-going conflict boring global viewers and readers to death because as soon they hack off one guerilla group's head, the next mob appear nicking all the aid, food, tents, fresh water, etc, to give to their troops fighting whoever rules the place at the time!)
Numero 5: Conflict in Manymar (too faraway for global media sources to be serving up daily images and reports of village massacres and attempted coups mainly by guerilla communist groups attemtping to topple which ever pupper government is ruling at the time!)
Numero 6: Armenian conflict (there is more global interest is observing how their second-rate football team get thrashed by European giants than who is involved in this conflict!)
Numero 7: Sudan civil wars (on-going similar to Somalia and Ethiopia, thus for global media followers of conflicts, BORING! And images of starving babies do not get punters or pop starts digging in their wallets and performing for zilch in yet another Band Aid)
Numero 8: Civil war in Central Africa (again a land filled with diverse guerilla groups led by muslims, communists, or anybody who has an issue with the corrupt governments that rule; pretty normal in most African nations. Bob Marley tried to create love and peace, but gave up after realising African nations are cess-pits of corruption even worse than Jamaica!)
Numero 9: Assad and his Syrian conflict (left behind and now in danger of relegation to the 2nd division because global media outlets don't give a shit about thousands of Syrian refugees stuck on a freezing mountain top between Damascus and Turkey!)
Numero 10: Mexican Gang Wars (certain to be relegated to the 2nd division this season because images of headless drug cartel members swinging from highway bridges heading to the US border have lost their shock effect. In addition, attempting to eradicate gang wars in Mexico is like thwarting swarms of locusts swooping over African nations and devouring all their crops!)
So, there we have the top-ten of most interesting wars and conflicts being pumped out by global media sources. Things could rapidly change if China bombs Taiwan, Russia decides to invade Poland, or the USA decides to annihalate Putin in the Kremlin while he's sitting around his huge marble table chatting with Kim Jong-Un about an eventual nuclear weapon deal because North Korean nuclear war-heads are pretty instabile and could land on Japan's head!
Title contenders for promotion to the Global Premier League of Wars and Conflict now boring social media, TV, Tabloids, and us in the 2nd division are: Libya, North Korea, Afghanistan, Haiti, many African nations, bubbling under Lebanon (could get involved with bombing Isael and causing war with Iran). Promotion favourites are Lebanon led by Hezbollah , could be interesting!
My apologies for not including the Israel/Palestinian war on the map which is currently leading the Premier League, this conflict has been going on since Jesus walked the planet and my cartographers fell asleep waiting for a new Messiah to appear!
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