Scotland Win The World Cup!!!

I just raised my kilt, flashed my non-ginger nuts, tossed my caber (well it's not that big?), and blasted my bagpipes in honour of the 'great' Scottish Football team (sorry US readers if there are any, Soccer in your language played with the 'real shaped ball',' LMBO) in their humongous effort to beat a World Cup third world nation, Haiti (who the F are they?). I along with trillions of Scottish footy fans strewn all over planet are in exaltations after this superb 1-0 thrashing of the poorest country on the planet,

Papa Doc, black magic leader of his Haitian subordinates just cast an evil curse on the Scottish team after McGinn & Co dashed their hopes of beating Scotland in this epic final of the 'Losers World Cup': Wow!

The Tartan Army have gone bombastically mad after their only success at a major football tournament happened since a hundred years! Tears of whisky, and no 'wee drams' but large 'wee drams' were flowing at $200,00 bucks a hit last night after this memorable victory, a day to remember indeed, nearly as mind-blowing as when their fellow sports star, Andy Murray, won Wimbledon (Well Sassenachs residing south of Hadrian's Wall claim he was a Brit and certainly not a Scot, very debatable that one!), it will certainly be an historical day in Scottish folklore and Robbie Burns (his great, great grandson, reincarnation does not exist north of Hadrian's Wall, only in Mongolia, and they did not qualify for this footy fiasco in the US. Mongolians prefer Horsey Polo, batting Chinese heads with their polo sticks. King Charles the 3rd, great polo fan, be careful that your head is still screwed on when you visit a Buddhist monastery in Mongolia) has decided to write a sequel to 'Under Milkwood', oops sorry, he was Welsh. Anyway a poem is on its way and promises to honour this great achievement called, 'How the Mighty Scots Defeated Mighty Haiti Without the Assistance of an Earthquake!`'

I use this rude name gently again; the south of the border, Sassenach footy team, has high hopes of lifting the 'real World Cup' after 60 years of utter failure, but sadly France, Spain, Argentina, Portugal, Brazil, Germany could well destroy their fantasy. If they did hoist the St George's Flag all over England in victorious celebrations (spare me the thought!) their Scottish 'relatives' (I use that word with very delicate diplomacy) will not be jealous if they do achieve the impossible, after all, lifting this amazing trophy, a 'Huge Wooden Spoon' suitable for spooning porridge, is something really special as the celebrating Tartan Army have proved once again, 'any win for us is a massive achievement and we will celebrate until our kilts drop to our knees and the bagpipes are drowned in barrels of Bourbon (that's sacrilege Jaggedone!").

So to finish this awesome ode to Scottish success, all the author can say is "I hope Scottish players have booked their 6* holidays already because it is only a matter of a very short time if you eventually reach the final stages of the 'Real World Cup', get booted out immediately, fly in your private jets to your luxury hotels, they will certainly be grateful to welcome such an heroic bunch of no-hopers. Your WAG's will be waiting there with open legs, and then you can all return to the 'Real Footy Business', winning the 'Micky Mouse Scottish league!' (Well there is no point in hoping for that either, Celtic FC have won it already!!! LOL)

Well, they are at least World Champions in one Sport! LMBO