Common swear words commonly used by Northern-English footy fans, hooligans, and peasants, are being implemented into the Oxford English Dictionary by order of Queen Elizabeth II in 2023!
Jaggedone sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star royal reporter, Papa Rat-Sea, into Buckingham Palace via the underground sewer to find out why the Queen has ordered Oxford University to implement these once frowned upon words by royals, aristocrats, politicians, academics, and professors of the most popular language on the planet, Oxford English.
Papa Rat-Sea popped his head out of Lizzie's mink-covered-throne, commonly known as a bog-seat, as she was about to plonk a golden-turd down the pot and asked her why she is demanding the F word (in more variations) be used as a national emblem of unity in the war against all things that are 'Fucked' up anyway!
Here is her exclusive explanation as she sat eloquently on her luxurious throne-cum-bog-seat, purchased at where else, Harrods, of course!
"Well, Sir Papa Rat-Sea, that 'Fucked' up son of mine, Andrew, is a 'Fucking' paedophile and I now believe my folk should have to right to tell him to, Fuck Off! In addition, I should have told my people about Charlie 'Fucking' around with old Camilla long ago, but I kept it a secret because he was so 'Fucked up' in his head, especially after sniffing her tampons, I decided not to go 'Fucking' public! Poor Diana, I did not really mean to treat her like a 'Fucking' Bitch!"
"And this Boris Johnson cad, what a 'Fucking' moron he is! He dances into my palace, loaded with one scandal after another, begging for forgiveness and grovelling on his knees in front of me begging for a knighthood, I told him to 'Fuck Off' several times, but he just keeps squirming his way out of every scandal he produces! In addition, the worst thing was he was having Cheese and Wine parties at Nr10 while I sat alone in St Pauls saying goodbye to poor old Philipp, now that really 'Fucked' me off, so 'Fuck' him too!"
"But Milady, you are the Queen of England, loved by all of your subordinates because they are willing to keep you on your golden throne by paying mega-millions of tax, how can you now tell them that these swear words you use whilst sitting on your royal-throne-bog can now become acceptable in all echelons of your wonderful nation?"
"Now listen here you cheeky 'Fucking' roach, I am still the Queen of England, I might be 95, but I am not demented, and before I pass the crown over to Charles and Camilla, God forbid, I want to give my English worshippers something which they have always yearned for because it is a word which can now be used anywhere, by anybody, even us 'Fucked' up Royals and Aristocrats!"
"Milady, that is most honourable of you, and now a real 'feel good factor' will spread across your 'Fucked' up nation giving your subordinates hope for the future, even with that 'Fucking' scoundrel, Johnson, leading the country into a dark abyss after Brexit!"
"Fucking Brexit' now that was really 'Fucked Up' now 'Fuck Off' back down to the sewer where you belong, and tell that dastardly Jaggedone chap, he is now "Fucking Sir Jaggedone' by Royal Order!"
The 2023 official Oxford Dictionary will now include all the 'bold' words written above in honour of her majesty, Queen Lizzy, a fine lady indeed, and now she is officially one of us, a Lowlife and, 'God Shave The Queen!' She is human after all! Johnny are you listening?
Call her grumpy, call her aloof, call her Lizzy, call her anything you want, but now she is one of us, and Jaggedone is so 'Fucking' happy flying over his 'Fucking' Cuckoo's Nest!
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