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Writer's picturelesrjohnson28

Maybe The Best Book Ever Never Read!

Updated: Jun 16

Is this just fantasy or is it the real world? Is this a synopsis, or the introduction to a novel (trilogy) never been read or written before apart from maybe this genius:


https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/catherine-graham/the-new-douglas-adams-has_b_2155774.html


LET THE EPIC BEGIN!

The intrepid journey begins where all beginnings begin, at birth, apart from an insane, timeless, chilling prologue, which has absolutely nothing to do with the story, but actually has, and all will be revealed at the end.

There is no doubt that Erskine Quint is an exceptional character simply because of the blood running through his veins and his biological father who just happens to be… (We do not wish to divulge too much at this stage).

Actually, his first intrepid adventure is exiting his mother’s womb and then thrust into the hands of a very shocked midwife who just could not cope with the sight of this beautiful, but obviously quite different character.

The novel proceeds through Erskine Quint's childhood and the inevitable genius bestowed upon him by his biological father become apparent. Moreover, his physical attributes outstrip all those of his school comrades as he leaves them all behind in a cloud of brilliance, perfection, and admiration.

His parents realise that there is only one thing for their very special son, so they ship him off to foreign parts. Germany in fact, where he continues to conquer everything intellectually and physically placed in front of him, including a certain ‘lady of the night’.

At a noticeably young age, Erskine reaches manhood (especially after tasting the forbidden fruits of this particular Deutsche dominatrix), and after completing his studies in rapid succession is further shipped off to India because his father and mother really cannot cope with their ingenious son.

Erskine arrives in India and meets up with his manservant, Kimjabi, who is also quite a special character. But there is one thing constantly nagging Erskine’s mind; why has he received all of the attributes required to become a superhuman hero, and what is the hidden reason behind his drive to find the 'Real Holy Grail' of mankind which has never been exposed or discovered by anybody before him, and what actually is the Holy Grail incessantly driving humankind?

It must be something sacred, holy, or even evil, which is the catalyst that drives him out on his travels to all four corners of the planet in search of something that dominates human behaviour; it exists within all humans, is ignored, or is invisible, and has never been discovered until now, maybe.

Erskine and Kimjabi set out on their intrepid journey starting in the Himalayan Mountains. Erskine discovers enough information and clues there to direct him towards other global destinations and ultimate destiny.

In every aspect of life, evil exists amongst us and it appears in this exciting piece of complete and utter madness in the form of British anthropologist, Percival Smithers-Batears. Percival represents the ‘dark side’ in this novel and his devilish powers increase as the chapters unfold. He tracks Erskine and Kimjabi across the globe in an effort to thwart the two of them before they reach their goal. He receives support from powers that no one can explain, but there are many who wish they could.

Between the different journeys that the three main characters undertake there are interludes, some ‘religious’, some ‘non-religious’ and they all have one thing in common, complete 'insanity'. The reader is taken out on tangents which pertain to the backbone of the story but have truly little to do with it (apart from the ‘religious’ ones that is).

The author creates scenarios resembling Mad Monty Python, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, among others, all jumbled up in timeless zones. The scenarios created are completely different to the classic comedy mentioned, but there are certain analogies, no doubt, and the madness created is just as confusing.

Meanwhile, Erskine, Kimjabi and Percival continue their battles, conflicts, and confrontations in those places where human madness has been most prevalent throughout human history, some are obvious, some less obvious, but always intriguing.

Erskine’s desire to satisfy the most gorgeous females on the planet also plays a major role within the pages. Leading the reader to enjoy eroticism written in a non-pornographic manner, but certainly not suitable for children. Erskine is a healthy, excellent, and very intelligent male, and all women whom he meets cannot refuse such outstanding qualities as they melt under his mesmerizing spell.

Other interesting and oddball characters enter the story, Igor the Georgian chauffeur, Volga Olga, an 85 year-old Russian nymphomaniac hag who is Percival’s lady friend, as the novel spins back and forth from one continent to the other. Erskine is confronted with evil madness from the past and present, and the reader is not given time to take a breath, hence the reason why interludes have been introduced between chapters to slow the process down and give the reader a chance to enjoy even more insanity; relative or not.

Later, Erskine and Percival confront each other in the ancient ritual of duelling. In a place on the planet that was witness to one of the most atrocious acts of purposely perpetuated genocide ever to have occurred in the history of humankind and it was not Auschwitz (Too obvious).

Here the two rivals meet eye to eye, and thirteen steps apart, the excitement becomes too much and the winner takes all. But the excitement does not end here on this desolate piece of landscape where buried beneath the surface are the murdered souls of millions who never had a choice, or a voice.

The story continues, snowballing rapidly towards a grand finale with more twists in the tails of those who perpetrated, and actually created the Holy Grail. They left a world behind them full of monstrosities, evil, good, bad, and very ugly, and now it is time for them to explain WHY?

Finally, Erskine is confronted with the ‘truth’ in a scenario that will cause the heartbeat to race out of control because nobody, the reader, or even the author, could ever believe that those who created everything are just one or two (?).

Erskine reaches his earthly limits because those who have determined his path are not from this planet and possess powers that are far too gigantic for any human being to compete against (apart from Jack Black).

Erskine’s earthly, evil opponent has now developed into a raging, wild beast and without a bat (plenty of them too) of an eye-lid will destroy him unless compassion is shown by the one who actually created Erskine.

Enough is enough and just as the reader thinks that this is the end of Erskine’s intrepid adventures, yet another incredible twist occurs leaving the reader breathless; Kimjabi and Erskine too.

The story winds down to prove that ‘everything is nothing’ actually until Erskine and Kimjabi, now recovered from their ‘unknown’ experiences travel back to India in a plane full of Orthodox Jews, the true sons of God, or not? The reader is lead to believe that the author is preparing for Erskine’s next intrepid adventure creating a false sense of a happy ending, however, just when one feels safe, the whole novel accelerates into a scenario of chaos, confusion, and near disaster. Putting a doubt or question mark into the minds of anybody who ever reads this insane piece of surreal literature before they board a Boeing 747 again, such is the impact, or possible impact.

Rest assured our hero and his manservant survive to see the light of the sun rising slowly in the east, but one thing is sure, they will never be alone again.


Part two of this quite outrageous trilogy: 'TENTACLES OF EVIL' is also not to be missed!


It was, It is, It will be, the 'maddest trilogy ever written" and here's the proof!


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