After a quite dramatic year of top wankers doing what they do best, 'tossing', Sir Jaggedone and his Merry, not Gay, CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) board of directors, plus the astonishing, voted best 95-year-old, Chinese rickshaw puller, and Sir J's private chauffeur, WAN-KIN-DIK, have decided who will receive their 'Wankers Knighthood' for 2021!
Here is the top ten from the bottom, nr10, down to the greatest wanker ever to spiffingly toss his useless caber over the human race. (Guess who that mad fucker is? Clue: He resides in a cheese and wine paradise called?)
Numero 10: Sir Mark Zuckerberg, greatest ever wanking alien to have manipulated, brainwashed, corrupted, and cashed in on his multi-billion FB followers, Instagram, and other social media platforms. Arise Sir Mark, you are a mega-multi-billionaire-wanking-alien-superstar!
Numero 9: Lady Theresa May for her services to being against Brexit, becoming PM, changing her mind, and leading a merry dance between Brussels and London and nobody knew what the fuck she was on about! Arise Lady Theresa, what a mega-female tosser you were!
Numero 8: Sir Paul Pogba, French multi-millionaire footy player who fucks his club annually, Manchester United, never had a decent game for them, earns £350000 a week, and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer licked his butt constantly! Arise Sir Paul, you certainly know how to wank off United!
Numero 7: Sir Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, a mega Scandinavian wanker who got the sack from United, cashed £7 million for his terrible services, and is now hiding in a Norwegian Wood!
Numero 6: Sir Tony Blair, ex Brit PM who jumped in bed with other global wanker, Bush, swore there were MOD's in Iraq, and now offers his services wanking off to humankind and will bow in front of the queen for a job well done! PS: They are still searching for the MOD's!
Numero 5: Sir Brad Pitt, ex-non-wanker actor, but has evolved into a top-wanking film producer and actor. He should receive a 'Tossers Oscar' for producing the worst Zombie film ever made, WORLD WAR Z! Thriller was like 'Gone with the Wind' compared to that garbage!
Numero 4: Sir Nigel Farage, fascist pig, bum-licking moron, and mega-slimy-creep. How the fuck Brits believed in this mega-UKIP-tosser, God only knows, but then again God doesn't give a shit about his mega-creation, especially those living on a once wonderful island!
Numero 3: Sir Donald Trump! Well sorry, there are just no words to describe this top3 tosser! Jaggedone will leave that to his moronic followers who attempted to invade the House of Representatives, only they can explain how this mega-mega-wanker corrupted their pea-brains, Jaggedone cannot!
Numero 2: Sir Ashraf Ghani, who fucked off when the Taliban stormed his palace, took a $150 million with him, now living in Arabian luxury and claims he knew nothing! What a fucking wanker this tosser is! (But the US loved him)
NUMERO UNO: Bumbling, stumbling, fumbling, corrupt, ex-Eton-Tosser, now Brit PM, and the biggest wanker ever to rule over the once-but-forever-lost imperial GB. Britannia once ruled the waves, but with this fucking wanker as captain, it is sinking faster than the Titanic. Arise Sir Boris, you are certainly the globe's grandest, spiffing, buffooning TOSSER, Amen!
Mega-Fascist-UKIP-Tosser, Farage, didn't quite make top 3, the Taliban fucked him up! LMBO!
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