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Writer's picturelesrjohnson28

Our Devil Cat Called Billie!

Cat lovers will know much of what this feline blog is about because it is quite obvious cat owners fundamentally surrender their household to these strange, furry, sometimes loveable beings.


My lovely wife decided it is time to recruit a new family member, I reluctantly agreed believing that this 'Little Devil' would be wonderful company for our adopted Indian street dog called, Lunar, who is loving, gentle and actually listens to what we say, a typical canine trait.


So, venturing down to our neighbours house, bless her heart, who found three adorable kittens abandoned by their mum, my wife decided, "yes this one and we will call it Billie," of course I surrendered to her wishes believing it would be lovely having a cat purring, sitting on my lap, sleeping gently with Lunar, hence, my romantic thoughts overran any form of logic, and we went ahead with the adoption.


Several months later our house has been transformed; my wife Elisabeth loves plants in the house, so does Billy, especially ones she can tip over, chew on, and dig the soil out of the pots, great stuff! So, diving into the internet we discovered plants that our Billie should not like! Our house now resembles the Arizona desert! Cacti dominate our no-go zone and other strange rubber plants which have been surrounded by barbed-wire to stop Billy digging for gold!


Okay, climbing up our tall lamp, sitting on top of our wood-burner (when not alight), climbing all over the kitchen when Elisabeth is attempting to prepare dinner, chewing Lunar's ears, disappearing into our dark cellar chasing invisible mice, flying into our attic on a 'zoomie trip' and then meowing for help because she gets stuck, scattering our floor with torn up aluminium foil, paper, and whatever she can get between her teeth, etc, no problem, we can deal with that.


Moreover, Billie has taken over the house, decided it his hers, and everybody including Lunar and us, are subordinate to her feline demands. We have bowed to her status and are hoping when she gets slightly older she will return our house to its rightful owners and retire from 'zooming', laying. sleeping, climbing, and hiding wherever she wants!


However, before she reaches the ripe old age of one, Billie decided it is time for some real 'feline fun'! Having access to our kitchen, of course, it really belongs to her anyway, during a dastardly night prowl, Billie decided to 'drop a bomb' and after the 'explosion', yowl all night beg for help!


Zooming all over our kitchen top, Billie destroyed a half-full bottle of vin rouge, kicked it over, it shattered into a thousand pieces, painted the walls with amazing artistic drops of wonderful Spanish Rioja, created two rivers of red grape juice, one on the kitchen top, the other on the floor, she then smothered anything standing on the kitchen with her fine artworks, and then decided to, as mentioned, yowl for help all night!


Elisabeth, not feeling to well was snoring next to me, Billie was yelling for help downstairs, I decided to turn a 'deaf ear' to both of them until 07.00AM when I ventured downstairs, opened the kitchen door to discover Billie's own personal 'Hiroshima Attack'. She fled upstairs and dived under the bed clothes for a piece of comforting warmth from Elisabeth still lying in bed hoping to escape my bread-knife attack (just joking).


The moral of this blog: Yes cat-lovers we all know we must surrender to their demands, accept their intolerable behaviour in the hope that sooner better than later, they will greet us in the morning with a loving purr, help to write blogs on our laptops, and in the evening cuddle up on their warmest place on the sofa, kick the dog off, gently fall asleep until the next 'zoomie attack' enters their bored minds, and regain what rightfully belongs to them, the household! It is a pointless battle because cats will always become victorious reigning over their King/Queendoms!






There is no point even attempting to explain to cats who owns the house because they just annex the place!



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