Due to global Omicrom outbreaks, plus other mutations, normal holiday destinations are now being boarded up! However, holidays to taboo, or no-go-zone-territories across the planet are becoming so popular that even North Korea are offering all-in trips to their nuclear power bases and 'non-existent' nuclear areas in a bid to attract mega $bucks.
Kim Jong Un, North Korean Nutter, normally keeps his nation under lockdown (the other type) and has told the 'free' vaccinated world to, "Fuck Off or Keep out!" However, Kim is exclusively offering fellow nutters, the non-vax-global-fraternity, visits to his ancient nuclear sites, but only if they believe the world is flat, and Hitler was the real Messiah!
Package holidays are now on offer to visit North Korea's radiating, radioactive sights. Anti-vaxxers have been warned that Chernobyl is like the fucking Bahamas compared to Kim Jong's favourite adventure parks, but who cares, we are all going to die anyway, Covid or no Covid!
The tours are efficiently organised, at P(y)ongyang airport arriving non-vax tourists will be tested, if positive, they will be allowed in, if found negative they will be jackbooted off to a Siberian Gulag and kept in quarantine until they die of frost bite. President Putin has shown solidarity to Kim's efforts in keeping Covid mutations where they belong, in the western, capitalist world.
Once tested negative, sightseeing trips into Kim's Jurassic, leaky power stations, nuclear bomb building sites, and rocket launching pads, are all part of the holiday packages. Ex- Russian radioactive protective suits from 1947 will be on offer for rent at $US 500,00 a hit (without guarantees of being leakproof). After the sightseeing trips tourists will then be blindfolded and lead to the secret rocket launching pads for a first-hand view of Kim's favourite toys, ancient Russian rockets with missile heads found rotting in the Iraq desert after the Iran/Iraq war; they were a parting gift from Saddam! These were sold to Kim Jong and his Jackboot army by bent Russian weapon dealers for twenty million Roubles a head (fuck me what a deal!).
If the tourists are lucky, they will experience a real-life launch, which actually never takes place according to the North Korean propaganda machine! To end this wonderful holiday experience, braindead tourists can participate in a goosestep parade with thousands of other braindead North Korean, jackbooted troops marching past their honourable leader! They will even be allowed to raise their right arms and scream Sieg Heil to Kim.
Thousands of applications for the anti-vax package holiday have been engulfing the North Korean tourist authorities. Interviewed applicants, when asked why they wanted to visit North Korean nuclear disaster zones replied, "I've been to fucking dead Chernobyl man, it cured my common cold, and now I want a real live kick, not a prick because I heard over the internet being nuclear contaminated kills all known viruses, and I'd rather die without a chip in my holy temple, fuck fake west-politicians man, old Kim Jong is the real thing!"
PS: ALL SPOOFS WRITTEN BY CHIEF NUTTER, JAGGEDONE, ARE ALL TOTALLY FAKE!
IT'S ALL A MASSIVE MASQUERADE AND ANTI-VAXXERS NOW WORSHIP HIM!
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