Shocking Royal Announcement!
In a desperate effort to save the 'swinging' neck of PM, Boris Johnson, and to deflect even more tabloid garbage referring to wine and cheese parties at Nr10, Buckingham Palace has just revealed that not only Charles, Camilla, and Prince Harry, enjoy a bit of Nazi, Sado & Maso-ing! Also, the Queen, Prince Philipp (who once did, but not any more, RIP), and expert equestrian Princess Anne regular participate in S&M non-locked-down parties with whippings, tortures, and bare back horsey riding in the dark dungeons below the palace. BOJO hopes this startling royal announcement will 'bat all wild Nr10 party accusations over the boundaries of all common decencies with a massive 'six'! Howzat! After all it's only cricket!
Queen Elizabeth announced the following statement:
"We are immensely proud of our heritage and Prussian connections, which are very deep (throated) rooted and allow us to continue their S&M practices, which have historically been an integral part of all global royal families."
"Our tradition here in the UK has been kept an awfully close secret because of the hypocritical and extremely prude attitude of the Brit public towards deviant sexual practices. Nowadays it is a common fact that British subjects are the forerunners of the S&M movement, and we feel the royal family has to keep abreast with progress. So, I decided to show solidarity with my loyal subjects and declare herewith, we all love a bit of in-chains S&M."
The Lord Chancellor, high judges, politicians, aristocrats, and especially the PM, all blew a sigh of relief that at last the "TRUTH" has been revealed. Boris Johnson declared a public S&M Bank Holiday in celebration of his relief, and release, from his guilty conscience after Civil Servant and Metropolitan Police investigations proved he was guilty, but he forgot!
Higher echelons of Brit society, the privileged, and aristocrats, are in dashing solidarity with the royals after Lizzy 'outed' their kinky-sex-habits. They can now indulge, without fear of paparazzi reverberations, in a whippingly, bare-back ridden, masked, chained, future, and will certainly love every single minute of it, Tally Ho!
Sheep-like, Brit subordinates, who always follow their leaders, are now in a mad rush to buy S&M accessories too! H&M are now S&M, Woolies, a bankrupt, whipped to the bloody-bone-chain-store, has been relaunched under the name of The Black Leather Latex Woolie Underwear Stores. In addition, Marks & Sparks have renamed their stores and are now 'flogging' a completely new collection of S&M latex/leather goodies! They are now called, THE MASO SADO SUPERSTORE. This new retail sector will certainly breathe life into boarded-up, very dull, run-down UK highstreets, and thwart major bankruptcies caused by the recession and Covid19 lockdowns!
Fuck on S&M-ers and thank the Royals for saving the GB once more.
This particular sector of the British economy now has 'Royal Approval!'
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