Iconic, ageing 70-year-old rocker, The Boss, has just flogged his music rights for $500 million bucks following Bob Dylan who only got $300 million, who was last seen queuing to get food from US food banks. However, The Boss, with $200 million extra, has gone on a spending spree!
Ever since he split his mega-tight jeans filming the live video, 'Dancing in the Dark' he swears he only ever had that pair and couldn't afford more. His missus has continually sown up the splits in his jeans after Bruce put on several pounds, although he still did his famous dance in front of the bedroom mirror daily in an attempt to keep his missus 'hot'.
After flogging his music rights, The Boss, decided to invest his money in a brand-new pair of tight jeans, three sizes bigger than the original pair, and his missus is now quite relieved because sowing the tatty originals caused pain on her thumb!
After receiving his new jeans, Bruce did a practice run in front of the mirror, however his butt is not quite as sexy as it used to be! His missus fell asleep while Bruce 'danced alone in the dark' after she turned the lights off.
As for the rest of the $500 million bucks, Bruce denies all accusations of being a multi-billionaire and has stuffed his king-size mattresses in his thirty-bedroom palace with dollar bills. He was last seen walking the streets of Philadelphia, with his new jeans on, hoping to find new inspiration to write yet another HIV, Aids, blockbuster.
Phil Collins was also spotted in Tent City, New Orleans, pushing a rusty supermarket trolley filled with scraps humming, 'Another Day in Paradise!'
The Boss's original Blue-Ripped-Jeans are now being auctioned for $2 million, at last poor old Bruce can afford a new pair, Dylan could only afford a new hat! LMBO!
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