Ernst Fritzl from Salzburg, Austria, walked into a Bavarian Boozer in Munich, anno1997, hoping to enjoy himself at the infamous Munich Beer Festival. However, before trotting over to the Festival Area he thought, "Scheisse, I think I'll have a couple of German cats pee, alias, German Lager, before popping over to pinch some Bavarian Bimbo bums!" That's what he thought!
After getting totally sloshed in the Famous Munich, Brauhaus Boozer, Ernst commenced to pinch a buxom waitresses bum, she squealed and slapped him in the face. Through the power of her slap, Ernst's false teeth crashed out of his mouth, slid across the floor, and disappeared. The owner of Brauhaus sent his security guards over to Ernst, who was KO'd by the buxom Bavarian Beauty, and they booted him out of the door, without his cherished false Gnasher's.
Toothless Ernst just about hacked it over to the festival and basically enjoyed himself but attempting to eat Bavarian white sausages and pretzel was quite difficult without his false teeth. In addition, the buxom Bavarian babes serving him litres of finest German lager could not understand a word he was blabbering, so he just pointed at the beer mugs being served with impunity. They then understood what he wanted!
Ernst, peed out of his brains, decided not to pinch bums, instead he entered the bog, a smelly container, sat on the 'throne' and fell asleep! 30 minutes later, after other festival guests, bursting for a pee banged on the door of the container and woke poor old Ernst up! Again, security guards grabbed Ernst and flung him off the festival area warning him not to enter again unless sober, he told them to 'fuck themselves' in his finest Austrian accent and returned to Salzburg for a bit of R & R and a listen to Mozart.
25 years later, Ernst had a business trip to Munich, he flogged chocolate 'Mozartkugeln' for a living. He booked a hotel in the centre of this wonderful Bavarian metropole and decided to go for a special Bavarian dinner in the Brauhaus, sauerkraut and pigs trotters were his favourite meal. He entered the famous boozer, and the owner who once booted him out, recognized him as he entered! Bavarians are renowned for their famous cars which break down constantly called BMW (Bring Mich Werkstatt- English, Bring me to the Garage) and high-tech memory banks!
"Guten Tag, you are that Austrian hooligan who once pinched my wife's bum, I never forget a face!" The owner said!
"Jawohl," answered Ernst!
"Ich habe something that belongs to you, and I kept them in a pickle glass soaked in vinegar because I thought when you sober up you would come back and claim them!"
Ernst could not believe after all these years his false teeth had been preserved in the very same place they were smacked out of his gob by a buxom beauty!
He thanked the owner and was even offered the pickle glass, plus his false teeth, as a gesture of EU friendship between Germany (Bavaria, it does not belong to Germany, very autonomous region Bavarians believe, Berlin does not) and its Austrian brothers and sisters!
Ernst Fritzl took his teeth home, showed his missus, she fainted! Then he told the Salzburg Times this amazing story, it went globally viral, and Jaggedone nicked it, Jawohl Mein Herr!
"Don't dare pinch my Bavarian bum, especially if you have false gnashers!"
"I warned you!!!"
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