A penniless comedian entered middle stage to echoing, rapturous applause from three paying spectators, his mum, his granny, and his flea-bitten, shaggy dog, who had dared to enter the empty theatre, and even pay for the premier of this unknown up and coming celebrity.
Shaking and crapping in his pants, the unknown comedian begun his one-man show, attempting to convince his spectators of the hidden genius bottled up in his warped, black humoured mind; he had been waiting for this moment to arrive for all of his life.
A huge spotlight shone, the "crowd" applauded (and barked) at every quip, joke, outrageous statement, spastic gesture, moon walks and facial disfigurements, "a hell of a show" they thought, in deep sympathy.
The empty seats did not deter the comedian completing his 45-minute one man show as the lights dimmed to an enthusiastic crescendo of applause, barking, and tail wagging, which echoed in a complete circular direction and smacked the lonesome comic between his balls whilst taking his final bow, OUCH he cried!
The crowd retired, lights faded, the mask covering the 'clown's' face gradually disappeared and loneliness reappeared as he exited his desolate, fungus-ridden, subterranean, moist, clammy changing room only to be greeted in the empty foyer, by the alcoholic, fag smoking, unshaven, pot-bellied, dressed in a yellow-sweat-stained-string vest, unscrupulous theatre owner demanding his fee, plus electricity, and his three devoted fans.
Hugs and wet doggy kisses were issued, as a single tear drifted slowly down the make-up-less cheek of a new-born star feeling so proud, to have trodden the boards and succeeded in the eyes of his devoted fans; Mum. Grandma, and his shabby flea bitten, mongrel dog called; A Streetcar Called 'Desire.'
The only way is up, but the 'Tears of a Clown' mostly run down!
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